Welcome back! Hope you are all having a good week! Last week I began a question/answer series over here, and it’s my hope to provide a good resource for common questions I receive. This is the second installment, and it’s regarding my adoption. It is my hope is to expand more on this subject to provide encouragement to those seeking another alternative when starting or expanding their families.
If you aren’t already aware, Instagram recently updated their story’s app with the ability to present a way for others to ask questions regarding certain topics. I presented the opportunity to ask me about my adoption, and I had a lot of feedback. There were many duplicate questions, so I will answer these and hope to expand even further in the near future.
How did you find out you were adopted?
When asked this question, I tell people I’ve always known.. I’ll tell you right now that my parents are very wise. I remember as a small girl randomly asking my mother at different times, either, “Where did I come from?” or “Was I in your tummy?”. I remember her answering that the girl’s tummy I was in was very very young and she couldn’t take care of me, so she asked us to be your mommy and daddy. It went something like that each time. I was totally satisfied with that answer, and it’s the truth :).
One thing I pride both of my parents on is never hiding my adoption from me. They always made sure I knew I could ask them anything, and they would always tell me the truth based on their knowledge.
Have you met your biological parents?
This is a burning question with many. Five years ago was monumental for me, because through some extensive digging, I was able to locate my biological father. Reaching out to him and his response are for another blog post. I am happy to report that after meeting him, we maintain a close relationship. He is a huge part of my life now. My DAD is the man I call my hero, and he swooped in along side my MOM 43 years ago and called me his own.
Unfortunately I also learned that my biological mother passed away at the young age of 42. Learning this fact devastated me, and I definitely mourned her loss. I only wanted to assure her that she had done the right thing, and I was so blessed with the family I was given. It still sits heavy in my heart knowing she never heard me say those words of affirmation.
Do you have biological siblings and have you met them?
I grew up with one sister. She’s my best friend and partner in crime <3 Five years ago, I learned I also have 3 brothers! It was really weird when I learned that, like shocking. Growing up, my parents shared their knowledge about my biological mother (which wasn’t a ton, but enough). Digging deeper years later led to a lot more knowledge, and thankfully it’s turned out to be a good thing. I have had the pleasure of meeting all 3 brothers. I am thankful for that opportunity, and they all hold a very special place in my heart.
What are your feelings about being adopted?
My knee jerk reaction to this question is, I feel being adopted it is part of my purpose. I’ll never forget, it’s been almost 15 years now, but my husband and I took part in a Bible Study – “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren.
” The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.” Rick Warren
Growing up I had mixed feelings at times, but for the most part I was just good with it. There were times when it was pointed out that I didn’t really favor either parent (looks wise). Frankly, I don’t think those remarks were always necessary, but people say what they want to say without thinking sometimes. I’ve definitely been guilty of the same. My natural curiosity would creep in from time to time, and I would ask my mom questions. Like I already mentioned, she was always willing to answer what she knew, but as I grew older I wanted to know more.
Learning what I have in the past five years has given me much fulfillment, and definitely closure in many areas. All in all, I feel special. Knowing God chose me to live this life and is using me to reach others who may be struggling is so full-filling.
I took piano lessons for years and years growing up. In junior high, I would ride home with my piano teacher from school, because she was also an elementary teacher. We shared a close bond, and she asked me one day on the way back to her house about my feelings on being adopted. I don’t remember that conversation fully, but based on my answers she and her husband adopted 2 boys a couple years later. It still chokes me up knowing the impact my answers had on a grown woman at such a young age.
One of my very best girl pals became a foster parent 8 years ago, and has since adopted two children. She has shared that it is because of me that she felt confident in adoption, knowing I felt the love my parents gave me was the same that was given to their biological child.
Thank you for visiting. I hope to have touched your heart in some way. I feel very blessed to have been placed in the family I grew up with, and give all praise to God. My hope is to expand more and more, so please don’t hesitate in reaching out.
Click here to read last week’s question/answer post – About Me.
Author – Martha Knake
Chief Editor – Emily Schunke